Struggling

I am struggling on many different levels.

I am struggling with my faith. I feel strongly that we need to attend to church as a family. We have found a nice church that I think we all enjoy attending. I went to church growing up and I think it was one of the best influences that kept me out of trouble during my teen years. The problem is that I struggle with God. For the longest time I was so angry with God because he made my mom sick, and he took her from me to soon. I then could not believe that a God that I believed in could make my mom so sick, and that she would suffer so long. I knew that it could not be him, but some other large universal force that rules our environment.

Now that Mike lost his job I am struggling again. I understand that things just happen. I have prayed to God each day that he guides us and that we are taken care of, and that Mike gets a job soon. It has been three weeks and I feel like we are going no where fast. I fall back in that pattern that nothing good is going to happen for us, ever. But, I know that it will. God provides for us.

I am thankful for...

My husband. He loves me, unconditionally, he is kind, thoughtful, funny, and even after eleven years my hand falls easily into his like it did the first time. I can not imagine walking through life with anyone but him.

My daughter. God has given us the most precious gift in the form of a beautiful, healthy, intelligent, and vibrant little girl. I thank him for her everyday.

Our life. We have a good life. I get wrapped up in material things I do not need, but I still have. Our house, our car, my coach purses, clothes, all these things I do not need, but I still have. It is so easy to be consumed by materialism in this global who's who world that I live in. Sometimes it is necessary to reflect on all that you have, and think about that many that have nothing at all.

So pray for me. Pray that I keep my faith with God, and that I find peace with all that I have, and to not want more than we need.