Time keeps on tickin'

So the family in this picture is mine.  I think back to when I started this blog.  The ten year old girl in this picture was about her little brother's age.  We had not even thought of him when I started this blog.  I look at the two grown ups.... we were still kids when we met.  Me just shy of 18, and him nearly 21.  Sixteen years, twelve married.  We have been through some heavy stuff.  Heavy Stuff.  My mom's cancer, my mom's death, his job loss, his mom's cancer, my cancer.  Too much heavy stuff in 12 years of marriage.  Yet, here we are.  Healthy (I think), happy (most of the time), and smiling.

This picture means a lot to me.  I looked back to our pictures from last fall.  They are beautiful.  They show every line of worry etched in my face.  This picture shows Wendy 2.0.  Lopsided padded chest, short crazy hair, but I do not see the worry.

I survived my first quarter of classroom teaching online.  Libby survived her first nine week of fifth grade.  Something is going on at school with her that I can not quite pin point.  I just want to raise a happy and confident girl.  Her school conference was tense with tears despite a straight A report card, a different girl full of confidence and excitement was at her gifted meeting the following night.

It the little spare time I have I am writing a book based on my experience with breast cancer.  It has the BEST TITLE EVER.  You will have to wait for that.  I doubt it will ever get published because I am a lousy writer.  Like the speaking events I have done it is good to get my thoughts out.

Fat....

So, I have put on 21 pounds since this time last year.....

I am not even sure how that happened, but I can tell you I can account for the last ten since finishing treatment and starting Tamoxifen.  I weigh today as much as I weighed the day I delivered Libby.  That is SCARY!

I would love to be one of those people who blamed it on Tamoxifen, but I just can't.   My weight gain is due to poor diet of too much food, a soda addiction, and like of activity.

I have realized I need to set goals for myself.

My goal for this week is to be consistent with weight watchers.  I need that visual reminder.

My goal for this month, ending November 16th is to 5% of my body weight.  It is a reachable goal.

I am tempted to ask for a clinical weight loss program, but I know what I need to do.

I have friends who have done diet trends, no carbs, advocare, raspberry ketones....  nothing wrong with any of those, but I need a long term plan.  Oh, and everything I read about the ketones is they turn to estrogen in your body....  a big fat NO for me!