Location: my street
I am trying to understand what happens on the first warm night of the year on my block that compels families to bring there domestic disputes outside in the middle of the night. I like to think I am reasonable person, but nothing grinds my gears more that being woke out of a dead sleep by complete strangers sparring over their problems. As I type this there is a cop, no check that, two cop cars parked outside my house because this people can not be normal and fight inside. I did not call them this time. I figure I better save those calls up for the really important stuff, I need FOP support for my campaign.
Last summer we had some people two doors up that were prone to this. They would sit outside and drink to the wee hours of the morning, and then fight. These people actually scared me because it was often physical. When it turned to that I would just call the cops and turn on the fans loud enough so it would not wake up the kiddo. In June last year they were arguing in their back yard, she left, and the huge dog they had proceed to howl for thirty or so minutes. I had had enough. Being the middle of the night, and being in my obviously now special green t shirt that must give me super powers, I marched out back in nothing but the t shirt. Yes, that it right folks, the t shirt and panties, and proceed to yell at this guy. I do not even remember what I said, but I can tell you that it used several expletives in combinations that may or not exists in real slang. (I normally do not cuss.... ) Needless to say the guy started coming over the fence toward me. I ran in house and called 911!
Tonight I am awoke by loud slams, and people yelling. It took me a minute to get my bearings. Then a car sped off. I remembered the car, as it belongs to the kid we call Puggsley Addams (real name unknown, he and his sister looked like the kids from the Addams family when we moved in....) I thought he was in the army, and gone. Apparently not. I gave it about five minutes to quiet down. It did not. I marched my self outside, and proceeded to yell up the block that they needed to be quiet, they woke my entire family, and that I was going to call the cops. The funny part is, they actually heard me, and the adult of the situation told the girl who was still shrieking to quiet down because the neighbors were yelling out them. I will point out that I do have shorts, and a bra on for that matter this time around.
I truly believe that normal people keep their fights inside their house. Just because it is above 55` at night I do not care that your baby momma has a drinking problem, that you are cheating on each other, or anything else for that matter. Why people, WHY?
I have been asking Mike for years for a spot light, red laser pointer pen, and one of those amplified mega phone things. For whatever reason he never gets those things for me. Maybe I will market the neighborhood control kit for angry housewives! I also have thought those night vision goggles from the toy department would be helpful too, I think they are called the bionic eye. If nothing else works out in life for me I could at least be the neighborhood patrol.
It is now 4:00 am and all is quiet. My adrenaline is down. Maybe I can get four good hours of sleep before it is time to start my day! My green shirt and I are going back to bed.
2 comments:
I hope that you were able to get back to sleep! Fighting neighbors are no fun at all!
omg that is great!! Go get em Momma! you sound exactly like me! Like you, we have moron neighbors that seem to think the whole neighborhood wants to hear them fight when its above 50 degrees. A few years ago about 15 guys were outside the neighbors house yelling at each other getting ready to fight. I marched my butt out there (mind you I was home alone with Bug) in my gramma nightgown and screamed at them that they better get thier *sses out of here or I was going to call the police. They scrambled like little schoolboys! it was halarious.
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